A Letter To My Future Daughter

Dear Little One,

     Love you heart. Love 'love' itself. It is the core of your being. Have an open heart and love on others. It is a value and virtue that is lacking in this world. It may be hard but you are strong. God will give you the strength, energy, and ability. Trust in him always. My biggest mistakes are wrought from my lack of faith and connection with God. Struggles will always be around but, God will shield you from the absolute worst.

     When it comes to love, love yourself first. Take care of your body, mind, and soul. You only have one and, until you are married or have children, your body is your own and God's Your husband won't own your body; in a loving and good marriage you will give it freely and he will give you his. Just as when you have children, they will have your heart-- forever and always. Be confident in everything you do. Failure is a part of life and aids you in your search for greatness. You are full of life. Even if you don't feel it. Nurture your inner light with positivity & faith and you will be amazing & perfect. Be confident when dating. Don't let someone who doesn't deserve you, bring you down. The person you decide to date should care for you, your mind, and your heart. They should push you towards greatness. Similarly, you should push them. Even if "you're a girl", you deserve all the wonders this world has to offer.

     Travel. Learn. Experience. See all the beautiful places there are. Learn different languages -- I hope I will be of service as I plan on teaching you French as soon as you can speak. Experience more than what society thinks is cool in drugs and sex. Experience true love and true beauty. Experience the simple and pure things in life. Be active, be healthy. Climb mountains and let the energy of nature and life flow through you. Paint, sing, write. Be artistic, intricate, talented, and imaginative. Writing may have a release for you as it has and will continue to be for me. Embrace your likes and dislikes. Be happy with who you are and your circumstances. Always be grateful. God has blessed you in so many ways.

     Don't be afraid to be upset or angry. You are human. Experiencing pain & frustration helps you appreciate the easy & happy. It also gives weight to your struggles so your success is all the more incredible. What is important is how you handle stress. Take one day to wallow. Then, be positive, pray, and conquer. You are born a princess and you can grow into a queen.

     Love your family. They have been my saving grace. I love your aunt and grandparents with all my heart and soul. I moved away to push myself but I always miss them and love them. You've been blessed with loving and forgiving family members. Each person in our family has broken out of their own individual box. We are a family of respect, love, kindness, and forgiveness. We are faithful and strong.

     Your most important attributes are your mind and heart. Make friends. Read lots of books. Don't stop believing in the magic of life. Not everything can be explained. That is the wonder of God and histories unknown to mankind. Learn from my mistakes and make your own. I will always love and care for you. God will always protect you.

Sincerely,
                  Your Future Mother

Where I'm supposed to be

   This week and today especially, I've been reminded of how much my writing has mattered to me. I am thankful to God for giving me the opportunity to feel fulfilled and happy. I've written a few articles for TeamTSD/ the new PureFandom.com and I've realized that although it is a lot of work, I enjoy it in the end. Even articles I just want to get done with, I've had fun and am very proud of my end product. I've never felt as fulfilled as the moments when my posts are published and people like them. I love writing and I love being myself. With the release of Pure Fandom, I was excited to expand on my abilities, make podcasts, and videos. I was so excited the first day that I couldn't even sleep. I haven't felt that way in years. Pure Fandom has helped me by giving me reason to be productive and to stay on track with school and be more diligent with how I spend my time. I'm learning to break through my fears and rely on my own confidence and be more happy with myself and my work. I am so grateful to God for bringing this wonderful opportunity to me and giving me the chance to see how much of a blessing it is in my life. I have amazing bosses who are continually positive and kind hearted. This past week I've gone to class, done my readings, and posted two long posts. I feel better about myself and I've been able to beat my anxiety back. My sleeping schedule is a bit more balanced and I've gone to my earlier classes. It's so interesting that out of all the things I've done, I would feel so fulfilled from a writing job that I don't even get paid for.

I'm a little nervous with how I'm going to pay off my loans and payments but I'm reminded to trust in God. I don't think I was ever meant to be a run of the mill person. I always deep down knew that I would be someone special because of God. I am grateful for that. My biggest fears are failing at life and having an average one. I'm learning to balance my origins and cultures while being true to who I am. I have been slowly learning to forget to level myself with the Indian ideas of where I should be and what I should have accomplished. I have luckily been given parents who are forgiving and loving in everything I do. I am so lucky to have parents who even in my failures have loved me and pushed me to be truthful and myself. It was so encouraging to hear my mother informing me that I could be a professor even if she haggles me about law school. That is her love over her Indian propriety and I am so blessed to have her in my life. My father, my daddy, has always loved me and even in his strict nature is so concerned with my future and heart that he can be rude but means well. God could have given me different parents but he loved me and knew my struggles so he gave me two individuals that would put aside their thoughts for me even if that's always not the case. I hope I don't disappoint them and I trust God will lead me and push me to become great and make them proud. I love my family oh so much. I was blessed with a younger sister who even though I raised her when she was younger, in my time of need she has shown such great growth and maturity. Our family though not very conventional, has been one that helps the other out. Regardless of our place or privacy. It's a blessing that I feel so comfortable going in my parents' room and talking to them. It's a blessing that I can drink with them and one that I am okay with the simpler things in life when it comes to partying. 

I will never forget how surprised I was when I saw the writing opening for TeamTSD and how funny it was to me considering how much I wanted to do this in high school. Maybe if I started then I wouldn't have been able to apply myself or I wouldn't know better. Either way, God's timing is perfect and this opportunity is amazing. I don't know what the future lies in store for me but I know that God is looking out for me and he loves me and forgives me. I shouldn't take advantage and skip church but be grateful for a merciful and loving God. Thank you so much, Lord. For everything I have. Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice so that I may know the Lord and have the ability to go to heaven. Thank you Madhave for always looking out for me. Thank you God for my daddy who I've always loved above all and who has inspired me and loved me. I love my daddy more than anything and I don't know what I would do without him. I love my mommy who though harsh at times is so loving and protective and strong and smart. Thank you so much for such amazing parents. Thank you for my sister. Thank you for my pets whom I adore and who teach us so much about love. We are truly blessed as a family. Amen.